I've learned a *huge* amount in the past two weeks, probably the steepest learning curve - of course timed with the least sleep - of the past 20 years or so. Herein is a list of things that I think Vancouver parents, particularly twins, are the top things that might have slipped through the cracks.
1. Get help. Seriously. I couldn't imagine doing twins parenting without help.
2. Accept any and all help. Whenever somebody says "Can I do X", say "yes".
3. Ask for help. "Sure, we'd love for you to visit and see the kids, can you bring dinner as well?"
4. Get prepared early. We had a model pregnancy for 33 1/2 weeks, and then things went south in a day. We were so focused on getting through the high-risk pregnancy that we would have liked to have done a bit more research before hand.
5. Think of all the possibilities in the birth plan. We had a couple of surprises during labour that we hadn't planned for, and there's better times to be thinking through decisions.
6. Breast-feeding is not a "done deal", it can take a lot of commitment and hard work.
7. Take at least one parenting class/book reading. I really like "BabyWise". It's been invaluable to us.
8. Do a trial run of a feeding cycle with a friend. It's quite a learning experience. There are a ton of little tips/tricks during it all (using the diaper change to wake them up for feeding, etc.) that you can miss at the hospital.
9. The Second Cup in Children's hospital closes at 10 pm.
10. Demand feeding *DID NOT* work for us. After the first 2 nights with a combined 3 hours of sleep, the schedule + separate rooms + allowed crying was instituted.
11. With twins + C-Section, Dad can ask the nurses in the Women's ward to look after the kids so he can get more than 20 minutes of sleep. Thank you Anne, bless your heart.
12. There are conflicting theories about *everything*. And each of them is help as "the truth".
13. The hospital does not have the right to prevent you from leaving. If they hypothetically say that your 5 1/2 lb child is too small for the smallest car seat made, an answer that allegedly works is "We'll take the taxi home then". This is probably far safer than Dad making a 5pm speed drive to buy different car seat on 1 hour of sleep.
14. In our experience, the nursing staff vary dramatically in knowledge, personalities, and approaches. The night staff (thanks again to the two Annes) tended to be very nice and helpful, whereas the day staff tended to be very business like and gruff.
15. The medella breast pump works as good as the hospital pumps.
16. The best night shirts and sleepers are the ones that have the clasps on the front. You can open/close the outfits without turning or lifting the kids. They have them at Room for 2. BTW, we really like Room for 2 on Commercial. Loreena is really great.
17. The pee-pee teepee is required.
18. You can't have enough face wipes, burp pads, outfits, blankets and hats. I think we are going through about 20 wipes, 10 pads, 10-15 outfits, and about 6 blankets per day. The kids end up just doing stuff everywhere.
19. We've found a schedule invaluable. We're every 3 hours "on the 3s", so midnight, 3 am, etc. It takes about 2 person hours to "do the cycle". It's quite difficult to have just one parent do a full change, so we mix up who does which shifts. For example, I do the 9pm, midnight, 3am, and sleep through the 6am and maybe 9am shift. For me, that means I get to sleep from 1:30 to 3, then 4:30 to around 9/9:30. Deanna's is interrupted each time for expressing, but she can do that in about 20 minutes and get back to sleep.
20. Have a good camera for close-ups, that particularly has a good flash level set or variable flash amounts.
21. Write everything down. We have no memory. It's really hard to remember how much formula you put in a bottle when you've done it literally 100 times by now.
22. The Dr. Brown's bottles with the air vent system are great, prevents the vacuum effect.
23. A microwave sterilizer is goodness.
I'm outta time - T-7 minutes to feeding frenzy - but I'll update this a bit more as I can.
Dave,
Found your blog today . . I searched on yahoo for choral singing blogs and somehow found yours.
Anyway, I'm the parent of 2.5 year old triplets and we're about finished with all the baby stuff now. I've got this tip for feeding:
Mix the formula double strength and then add an equal portion of hot water to the bottle/formula. We got one of those "instant hot water" hookups to our sink and it was incredible. It made bottle creation fast and easy. And now, especially during the fall and winter, I use the "instant hot water" to make hot tea.
And this tip in general: you'll survive. But you won't remember much.
Good luck with the twins. You can catch a view of me and my girls on my blog and Flickr.
BLOG: http://uabchoirs.blogspot.com/
FLIKR: http://www.flickr.com/photos/60713609@N00/
Philip
Definitely agree to the first 3 points as well as the 19th and 23rd.
We also, have been doing BabyWise, but not as strict as they suggest. We haven't been allowing the extend-a-cries the book mentions. We typically don't let Elise cry for more than about 10 minutes.
Other than that, those are all excellent points for future parents!
I admire your ability to get through this all with twins. We had two single girls, two years apart, and that was hard enough, especially when the youngest was newborn yet the oldest was still in naps, diapers, bottles, and soothers. I ran on love and coffee for months.
Now they're five and seven, and we're amazed how much they can do on their own -- and keep figuring out how to do. Being able to say, "Pick some clothes, we're leaving for school in fifteen minutes" is sheer joy after seven years of wardrobe wrangling. And while they do fight, our two are also surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly) close. Imagine how yours will be.
Starting in January, I'm even going back to work full time for the first time since 1998 (after-school care!). I'm not even sure I can handle that anymore.
That may seem a long way off for you now, and it is. But it will come. And by then you'll have forgotten about the bottle-and-diaper schedule almost entirely. (Unless you have more kids, of course!)